Pondering

I recently read a quote:

"You don't have to play by their rules if you don't require their rewards."

Wiliam P. Young

Can't get it out of my head.

It has resonated deep within me.

Ponder with me:

What would it look like...

To not care what "they" think

To live freely, passionately, totally abandoned

To go, do, be, think, act , say with no regard to what others will label you as

I don't know about you, but this is something I deal and struggle with daily.

I feel a pull, a call, a longing for complete abandon.

To love extravagantly. To live deeply and with purpose.

Sometimes it is so strong, it hurts.

Sometimes I want to sell it all, move to some little two room house (yes all 7 of us) and give away all the excess. But then that other part of me thinks "Oh no, but then I won't be well regarded, my kids won't be well dressed or popular or...blah, blah, blah."

I look at all we have, and all we continue to claim to need. I see our abundance and then hear myself thinking, "if only I had _____, then I would truly be happy."

I wonder why it is such a struggle to mesh those two parts of me.

I am feeling the challenge to live by another set of standards. To live out of what the Creator compels me to do. To show love by more than words and flowery thoughts.

To love to my hurt.

To live in a way that I no longer give regard to the rewards of the world.

I want to experience what it is to "Love Mercy, Act Justly, and Walk Humbly with My God." Wow....

I'm not sure what that will look like right now or what it will mean for our future.

But I'm looking...

listening...

waiting.