Tuesday, November 21, 2006

If you like to...

I watched a pretty good movie last night. I don't think there was anything too remarkable about it - it definitely will not win any awards. But there is one line that has stuck with me all day, something that touched a spot deep in my spirit.

In the movie, there is a young girl who wants to dance, whose parents are paying for dance lessons, but she just is not "good" at it. She tells her dance instructor "I just don't think I was made to dance." Her instructor asks her "Do you like do dance?" "Well, yeah" she replies. He says "Well, then, you were made to dance." She later repeats this same phrase to a young man she is dancing with.

When I first heard it, I knew there was some spiritual truth being spoken. As I have thought about it today, I have realized how much I, and maybe I am not alone, have believed the lie that if you are not good at it at first then you should quit. Ouch. I have tried countless things, countless numbers of times and when I don't find success or fulfillment or affirmation I quit. Obviously I was not made to do those things, right. Uh, wrong.

I have realized lately how much passion and desire is an integral part of how God made us. He created passion. He perfected it. The things that I long for, the things that I might even just think would bring me joy are not there by accident. He placed them in me. Just because I am not "good" at it by my standards does not give me reason or excuse to bury the passion for those things.

I mean, really, how many people are good at what they do the first time they do it? Not many. I think God has designed passion and desire to be so deep and consuming that we will fight for fulfillment. Is it possible that He wants us to want to find those things that He placed in us SO much that the struggle is by design? I know I find that in my relationship with Him. He wants me to CHOOSE to seek Him above all else, to lay down the easy things to do the passionate thing. Oh, God, show my how seek passion, how to fight for the fulfillment of desire. Show me how to seek You with my all...

Friday, November 17, 2006

There He is again

So - to all of you who have encouraged me to get back into blog-land, I have heeded your advice and here I am. I'm not sure why I picked now, this moment, to start again. After all, all three kids are up and around and the house is a mess. Maybe I'm seeking a temporary escape - who knows.

I was thinking I should do something dramatic and big for my first post in a while, but the only thing that comes to mind is an idea I had months ago. Anyway, I went through a period where I would see the evidence, the presence of God and the oddest times. Now, that is not totally unusual, but my reaction was. I would see something or here something and be in tears immediately.

I remember there was one time when I was driving over a bridge and saw a seagull fly overhead with a fish in its mouth. I was totally struck by how God has orchestrated and cared for even the smallest of creatures. So there I was, trying to drive in traffic and trying to fight back tears, but loving the presence of God - all because of a seagul and a dead fish.

Another time I was hanging out after church and my husband was playing with my youngest. He was holding her in the air (REALLY high, mind you) and she was reaching to the ceiling - wanting to go higher. I loved it! God spoke to me about my desire to go higher and to play with my daddy!

There are other times too, that I can't remember right now (oh, how I wish I was a faithful journaler). I am so blessed by that time. A time when God chose to show up again and again, if for no other reason to bless His kid and show my how real He is, how big He is, and how much He loves me.

Thanks God. May I never stop seeing you in the little things!