At what point does one become a "mommy." Some would say it's the moment you conceive. Others say it's the moment you realize you are growing a life inside you. Still others would say you are not fully a "mommy" until you are holding a life in your hands.
But what about those children who are not grown in your womb,

but in your heart?

When our adoption journey began a few years ago, this little girl was just a far off thought...a dream, a desire, but oh so very far away. As we grow closer to the time of our referral, I find myself wondering so many things. Is she even born yet? What are her surroundings? Is she cherished, longed for, loved...missed? Who is speaking into her, praying over her, loving on her?

I think of and pray for her birth family...

what are they going through? What are the circumstances that have led them down the path of giving their baby girl to someone else to love and raise?

Even though we have not seen her yet, and don't really know much about her, I find myself missing her. At times, when out with the other 5 kids, I find myself looking for her, feeling like there is someone missing in the mix. How do you miss someone you haven't even met? How do you love someone you have never held? The answer must be found in Him who loved us first, who adopted us and called us heirs and joint-heirs with His Son. God, help me love her as you first loved us...unconditionally, beautifully, perfectly....without fear or reserve.

I long for this little girl, born in my heart...