A mom of 5 beautiful, amazing, splendid kids - working on bringing number 6 home from Ethiopia! A wife to a breathtaking man of God, and friend to many that I am blessed to call so...trying to follow the Creator, to live simply and love extravagantly - one day at a time.
1. I am loving that my car radio is broken. Seriously. The conversations I have had with the kids and God in the midst of the enforced silences are priceless...who knew?!
2. I love that in no more than 17 days I will get to meet this little guy who is squirming and moving and budding with life inside of me.
3. I love that my husband is so good at so many things and that he willingly and generously gives of his time and energy to bless people with his talents!
4. I love how God provides for even the most "trivial" of things - He knows our needs, our wants, and HE LOVES to bless us. Wow!
5. I love friends who call just to say "Hi, I'm thinking about you!" No agenda, nothing but loving the way God loves! Thanks, Mims - you bless me!
And, because blog posts are better with pictures, here's a few from an adventure along the Nation Ford Greenway last weekend!
Oh man...I feel ruined this morning. The good, deep, messing up your insides kind of ruined. I was lurking on a blog a found a couple years ago and saw this song/video by Sara Groves. Wow - what an amazing song, what inspired lyrics.
Oh God, let me be changed by Your heart for the hurting. I especially love the line "Your courage asks me what I am made of and what I know of love." What a challenge.
I want to LIVE LOVE.
Not just the superficial "I feel for them" love. But the deep, sacrificing, no more counting the costs kind of love. The love that propels me out of my "comfort" and keeps me there.
1. Kylie Nicole (around 2 years in this picture). She is light and joy and excitement - love who she is, excited for who she is becoming, humbled to be a part of the process! 2. Caleb Aaron (around 7 months here) - He is hope and peace and determination. So much in this little guy! God is going to great things in and through him - my little prophet!
3. Macey Jourdan (almost 2 here) - She is energy and drive and purity all rolled up in one dynamic package. The places she will go, the lives she will touched are unfathomable, I am blessed to be along for the ride!
4. Micah Samuel (4 months in this picture). He is freedom and discovery and overcoming! Such an amazing little man, so much talent, so much potential - thrilled for the journey!
5. Jason Samuel - He is encouragement, patience, protection, provider, integrity, determination, stability. I still can't believe that God allowed us to be together - I love him for who he is, who he is made to be and who he is becoming - wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else!
Get ready, get ready, make sure everything is prepared! Now....wait! Oh yeah, and wait some more! Seems to be the theme of our lives lately. It can drive a girl crazy, or it can drive a girl to Daddy's arms to wait with Him. I think I prefer the later.
Not only are we anxiously awaiting and preparing (nesting like crazy) for our new little man to arrive, hopefully w/in the next couple weeks, but we are also finally done with the bulk of our paperwork for our adoption. We sent the Dossier in and were expecting to hear that we would receive a referral in a couple months since we are pursuing a child that is more difficult to place. Notice two key words there :WE and EXPECTING. Ha! If there is ANYTHING we should have learned in the last couple months it's that when it comes to children and adoption, nothing is determined by "we" but by "HIM" and "Expectations" should not even be a part of our vocabulary.
After talking with the amazing ladies at AAI, we found that they require us to wait for 6 months after a new addition to the family (Thompson 5.0). That would put us receive a referral around October 1st. Ethiopian courts meet sometime in October and then add another couple months to get everything else squared away and we will be traveling sometime in Early 2011. Not quite the "couple months" we were expecting!
I'll admit that when I first had this conversation with AAI I was disappointed, upset, frustrated. I mean don't they know how much WE want this, how much this did not fit in to our EXPECTATIONS? Hmmm...probably not the best attitude! Took me a couple days to realize that this is not about ME, and MY, and I! This is about what God has ordained, about what He has for us, and for our daughter(s)! I definitely see the wisdom in taking time to let the family get used to having a new baby before adding someone(s) else. I also realize, thanks to my mom, that maybe, just maybe, our little girl(s) may not even be born yet...!?
I'm pretty sure I've come to a place of peace with this. Hey, if God wants her home earlier, He can absolutely speak to the people in charge - I know they listen! So, for now, we wait, we plan, we hope, we pray for our little girl(s). But most of all, we TRUST and we surrender!
On a side note, check out this link to my friend's blog. They have received a match to an amazing little girl, Olivia, and are working like crazy to raise money to bring her home. Monica (the amazing mommy) makes adorable necklaces and is auctioning her anniversary ring on ebay to help raise more funds. Please support this amazing family! How blessed Olivia is to have them love her!
Alright...I have to go get my cookies out of the oven. Seriously, who wakes up at 6:30 with an insatiable NEED to bake oatmeal cookies?!?!? Oh yeah - me!!!
A few of my friends here in SC (and now in NY) do a weekly update on their blogs - "5 Things I Love Friday." I find I am always blessed and encouraged when I read them...taking time out of hectic, kidded, dishes, pregnancy, work filled schedules to just be thankful seems to refresh the soul unlike anything else. Thought I'd give it a try!!
1. I love that Macey and Micah wake up with so much energy ready to play and discover with each other. Right now they are riding their scooters around the house - best friends!
2. I love feeling this new little man wiggle and groove inside my belly - can't wait to meet him!
3. I love that my hubby recognized that I was a little overwhelmed last night at did the dishes for me - then rubbed my feet while watching chick snowboarding!
4. I love that in the midst of uncertainty and waiting and changing perspectives about life God is faithful - He is certain, and constant, and never changing!
5. I love that I heard the birds singing this morning - Spring is on its way!
Caleb is learning to read! I know that I have been through this process once before with Ky, but it really does seem like Kylie was born knowing how to read! It came so easily and naturally for her. She was reciting ABC's and 123's in English and Spanish at two - crazy kid! It's been a bit of a harder journey for Caleb. Last summer he wasn't even willing to pick up a pencil for me, much less practice writing his name. Honestly, I was worried about how he would do in Kindergarten. I KNEW he could do it. I had seen and heard of him "performing" for other people, but not for mom. Hmmmm. Anyway, I think I was more stressed about his first day of school than he was. Well, sure enough, he comes home in the first week telling me that he really wishes I would have worked with him more on his lower case letters because that is what they are working on in school! Ha - I chose not to remind him that he wouldn't even think of writing, but encouraged him to keep working at it. Gotta love this mom gig!!
So, now at half way through the school year, things are starting to click. He is reading street signs all the time, cereal boxes, books and, his favorite - Calvin and Hobbes! I love seeing a new world open up to him! I love the wonder and delight in his voice after he has struggled with a difficult word and come out victorious!
It never ceases to amaze me the way God teaches us through our kids. Every day. We just have to be teachable. I wonder, as I watch Caleb discover, how much Joy our Daddy receives when we conquer a particular battle. I wise man once told me "The bigger the battle, the bigger the victory!" It seems when we have worked and labored and sought after and desired something for so long, that the joy we receive in accomplishment is that much sweeter. I have found that spiritual breakthrough is much the same. Sure, I know that God could make a struggle lessened, could make a battle easier, could make an answer more obvious. But, I wonder if He did that, would we seek Him still? Would my heart long after His to a lesser degree? Would I be more inclined to pat myself on the back instead of realizing that all good things come from Him? Even though I know I grumble and give up and struggle again and try some more and grumble some more....I am thankful that His wisdom is infinite. I am thankful that even in the midst of struggle "*1. He is good, #2. He loves me, and everything else begins at #3"
Our Dossier is in the mail! We sent it out last Saturday - what a crazy rush of emotion! I was having little panic-y moments thinking about the finality of it. It's been a LONG process - longer than some, I would imagine. We moved 3000 miles away from "home," found out we were pregnant with number 5, two of the four kids started school, and many more changes occurred all while working on paperwork, home studies, research etc. There were moments of dread, hope, fear, excitement, anticipation; pretty much the whole spectrum of emotion.
Now - we wait, we pray, we trust, we hope! I'm not sure what, or who, the next step will bring, but am excited for our family to be complete (for the time being), and to love whomever God places in our lives. We ask for and covet any and all prayers sent on our behalf. There is a Joy in the Journey!!
For those of you who are wondering, we are still "in process." Still waiting for a couple forms to come in, still discussing, still praying about the specific direction our adoption is going to take - or more specifically, where God wants to take it; take us. Being 7 1/2 months pregnant has made some of the decisions a little more, well, intense!
I find myself explaining more and more to friends, family, and complete strangers, the specifics of why we are choosing this route. A lot of times I am at a loss for words, especially with people we don't know on an intimate level. The story is long, the journey has been laborious to say the least! A common response is "well, it kinda chose us, not the other way around."
Last week, while surfing other families adoption blogs, I found a post on "Gotcha Day" videos. I've posted two that moved me to tears...well actually more like propelled me into sobbing, booger crying - All I can say about them is : "This is Why"
So, grab your box of tissue and 15 mins and enjoy!
I don't know that I've ever posted something by someone else on here - but this following story really touched me. I was cruising through a list of facebook friends that I don't usually get updates on. I found myself on the page of a friend, David, from Junior High. He is now a pastor of a church near Charleston, I believe. Anyway, with his permission, here is his story...enjoy!
In bed, and attempting to hinder my leaving him for the night, Isaac began unsnapping the buttons on my western-styled shirt. This is a funny game to him still for some reason...
It began long ago when he was only turning two and not three he would find his way to my belly button and coyly jab his right index finger as deep in as it would go. I would surprise at the electric-like jolt that radiated from said area and then dutifully proclaim in chastising and joking tones "get out of my bellybutton!" To which Isaac's response would be seizures of glee as he laughed hysterically at this game of trumped up pain, and pretense of intrusion. He would then double his efforts to reach that same spot in order to get a similar faux-reaction of surprise and harassment. Ahh... the crazy little games we play that lead our children into the therapist's office later on in life... but I digress.
Tonight he didn't look for my bellybutton as he pulled at my shirt. Standing there in his room, I sang him "twinkle twinkle little star," and he matched me with word and pitch and my heart soared.
Pulling the last button/snap open, he wraps his arms around me inside of my newly opened shirt, and lays his head on my chest and sighs. "I love you daddy" "I love you too buddy," My heart brakes. "Isaac, I made a mistake" I started "When you didn't listen earlier about taking the leash off the dog and she ran away, I spanked you and I shouldn't have. I was angry, and what I did was wrong. I'm sorry I hurt you buddy" my voice is high and tears are flowing at this point. "I should have waited, and maybe just put you in time out, will you forgive me?"
He looks up into my face to try and understand what is going on, what he should be feeling in the presence of his father's tears and he begins to weep too. "I love you so much daddy. I'm sorry I took her collar off., I'm sorry I took her collar off, I'm sorry..." I stop him.
"Buddy, you didn't know, the only thing you did wrong was not listen... I forgive you for taking off the collar."
So gently with head still buried in my chest he says, "I forgive you too."
"Does your bottom still hurt?" I ask.
"No, it doesn't hurt anymore"
"Does your heart feel okay?"
"Yes it does," and with bright eyes "We're not sad anymore, daddy! That's so good!" to which we both must smile.
" Daddy," he asks "Can I have that shirt tonight?
I take it off and hand it to him. It smells of me, my work outside, my deodorant, and cologne. I ask as I leave, Do you like to smell daddy when you're in bed?.
A broad smile creeps onto his face. "I do, and, my friends, and Zoe, and caffeine (long story but true words), and food and mommy" You see all of those were the smells on my shirt.
It was then I realized it was more than a comfort trinket for the night. It was the story of his day our day, and our relationship. It was of mowing the grass, playing with the dog, running errands for Life Group, brownies, coffee, kissing on mom, wrestling with his Lifegroup friends, all the food we ate; and buried under everything are deodorant, and the perfume of reconciled emotions to mistakes I made out of frustration and haste.
My shirt tonight, as it is stuffed underneath little boy chin, and little boy arm, represents what it means to truly desire a person. To really take me in for all I am, every heinous act, horrid smell, outside musk, and look deeply into my eyes and say "can I have your shirt tonight?
Of course you can my son...Can I borrow one of yours to snuggle up next to as well? I prefer the one that started out soft in the morning and by mid afternoon felt plastic, and by night you were wearing sandpaper, because of all the food and grit stuck between fibers. That 's the one I want. I want your whole day Ike, right next to me while I sleep.
Yes, I'm a father, I'm weird, but I am so desperately in love with the people God has given me to love, that anything more might cause me to burst.
It's been a crazy couple of months - but that's nothing new!!! I've been going nonstop (or so it feels) with Doctor Appointments for the kiddos and me, a road trip to NY with a dear friend, organizing all of our adoption paperwork, and just regular old "life stuff." It's been a season of change, joy, sorrow, hope and anticipation for the future!
I am finally starting to feel better - no more puking all day every day. With the other four pregnancies, I didn't start feeling semi-normal until about 25 weeks - with this one, it was at about 16 weeks that I was having more good days than bad. For that, I am EXTREMELY thankful. God is good, and merciful and faithful! We had an ultrasound a couple weeks ago. Everything looks good and we found out we are having another BOY! All four kids came with us and watched the little guy on the screen - so fun, and I hope, so memorable for them.
The adoption process is going very well. Our home study is complete, approved, and in the hands of the adoption agency! We hope to have our Dossier complete and sent out by the 1st week in December, pending some notarization of documents (quite an ordeal, let me tell you)! I have been cautiously diving into the world of adoption grants, loans, and fund raisers. The kids have decided they would like to help raise some money and are making bracelets to sell. Macey is quite the little sales person and already has two or three sold - before they are even made! I will be posting some pictures of the finished products soon if anyone out there in blogland would like to contribute.
We do have some specific prayer requests if you are a praying person: Finances are probably the top request right now - we need to raise about $6000 dollars in the next few months. Typing that, it sounds daunting, but I know my God is big and that is totally a doable amount for Him! The second request is for a vehicle. We've decided that we are going to be "that family." The one with the 12 passenger van...! I am actually kind of excited...more room, more seats - more kids! We are looking, praying for a good deal. When we first started thinking about adoption I really felt a vehicle is something that God would provide for us, w/out a lot of stress involved. I'm holding onto that, and trying not to panic as the time draws closer.
I'll leave you with a couple pictures of the last few months. Enjoy:
Micah jammin' with his friend Brighten:The whole crew at Historic Bratonsville: 21 Week Belly Shot: Caleb-zilla: The kiddos at the airshow: My loves inside a war plane: "The Girls"
How do you love, really love, when you know the object of your love is temporary?How do you do relationship the way relationship was meant to be when there is the possibility, the probability, that the closeness of relationship will be compromised?
How do you embrace change, and not run screaming in the other direction?
When we moved to SC a little over a year ago, we had a feeling that it was not to be a permanent location.We didn’t know exactly what that meant (and still don’t) but neither of us felt that this was to be our last move.When we started building relationships and strengthening existing ones, I knew in the recesses of my heart that at some point we would have to say goodbye.I just always figured it would be us doing the leaving – that’s way easier, right?I’d be the one pulling the rug out, not the other way around…ummm…maybe not so much!
In the 15 months that we’ve been here, we’ve been blessed with friendships with like-minded, like-spirited friends.It is an amazing thing to connect, and to keep connecting on a level that is not found every day.Depth ordained by God, community that is uncommon.When we first started feeling the kindling of the flame of friendship, my first instinct was to pull back…to preserve myself from the pain of saying goodbye.If you are not invested in something, it is way easier to let go.
But then…
But then I was thrust into a situation, albeit willingly, where the overwhelming theme was “love deeply the ones that are with you, while they are with you.”I watched an amazing woman of God struggle with that very thing, and though I was not in her shoes, per say, I felt and learned right along side of her.When someone comes into your life for an undetermined amount of time, what is your reaction?Do you dive in?Do you wade slowly, cautiously, trying to find your footing?Do you turn and run back to the safety of the shore?Do you immerse yourself, knowing that those you love may be ripped away?
I witnessed this woman seek and struggle and laugh and cry.I watched her surrender to her desire to love the way Christ loves…with all that she is, no matter what.To give everything she knew how to, holding nothing back, though the outcome was uncertain. She probably has no clue what an eternal impact this had on my life - on the way I do relationship.
So, here I am now, watching friends leave.Saying goodbye to “those” types of friends.You know, the ones you will have for…ever.I do feel sad, I do feel kind of like the rug has been pulled.But, in the midst of it, I feel peace.I know they are all where God has placed them.I would rather have them there – whether it be 3000 or 300 miles away, than next door to me.There is comfort in knowing that I have loved to the best of my ability – flawed and wounded though it may be – I have loved.
A great man of God once told us to “hold lightly to people, places, and possessions.”Hard, but true and necessary.If our palms are open, if our plans are moldable on the potters wheel, if our hearts are softened to the leading of Love, than change is not quite as scary as once thought.
Yay! Our dossier packet came in the mail today! It is not quite as daunting as I had anticipated AND we need about 6K less than I had previously expected for this phase of the process. (We still have to raise that 6K, just not immediately). So excited to get going on this!
Kylie and Caleb received their class assignments for school today. It's pretty crazy to think that I'll have two in school this year. They grow up so stinkin' fast! Speaking of growing...we just recently found out I am are growing another Thompson! Baby will be here in late in March or Early April. We're not quite sure how this will effect the adoption, but we are still pushing through with it. From what we can tell, infant referrals from Ethiopia are about 7-10 months out - so they could be arriving at or very close to the same time - crazy, exciting, scary, wonderful!
It is so easy to shy away from what we feel God calling us to because of the enormity of it in the moment. But, over and over and over again, espeically during this season, I have felt God saying "My grace IS sufficient, I AM made perfect in your weakness." And, oh - how my weakness is magnified on a daily basis. There is nothing like being a parent to highlight my shortcomings. And there is nothing like knowing His mercies are new EVERY day to keep me going!
Wow - what a year! July 11th marked one year for the Thompson Clan in South Carolina - it's been a year of adventure, discovery, new beginnings. Kylie successfully finished her first year in public school and she and Caleb are getting ready to start back - she in 1st grade and he in Kindergarten. Macey has fully embraced her life as a 4 year old (as of the 14th of July)! She loves all things ballet and barbies and will tell you about any of those things, and more....all. day. long - I love it! Micah turned two a month ago and is quite the little man. I would say his favorite thing right now is the guitar (tar) and pic (he calls it a key) and daddies guitar pedals. He loves to walk around holding it saying "two, one, two, one - sing!"
Jason and I celebrated our 9 year anniversary at the end of May! I could not imagine walking through this life with anyone other than him. I look forward to the next phase of our lives, exploring, learning, laughing and loving!
So that's what has been happening...now to what we are looking forward to -
Some of you who follow this blog and know us personally know that Jason and I have had a heart for adoption for a couple years. We have talked and prayed, sought council and advice from family and friends and followed (stalked?) quite a few blogs on the subject. After a big push from God and clear "now is the time," we are now officially "in the process" of adopting a child from Ethiopia!
For those of you who are familiar with the adoption process, we have completed our homestudy and adoption application. We are waiting for our dossier packet to arrive (hopefully this week) and applying for the I-600 and visas, and passports. We are also working on raising the funds we will need when we turn in our dossier.
We are excited, scared, nervous, thrilled and amazed! It's been quite a journey to get to this point. We have not always been on the same page, but our God is so faithful and has gently brought us to the same vision for our family. He is a beautiful God!
We ask that you pray for us as we walk in this new phase of our lives - pray for wisdom, for divine provision, for grace for us and Kylie, Caleb, Macey, and Micah. Also for favor with the courts and most of all - please pray for our baby in Ethiopia; that he/she will be kept safe and loved, that he/she will know that their family loves them and is working on bringing them home!
I hope to be able to update this blog more regularly - how many times have I said that? School is starting soon, so maybe, just maybe, the craziness of summer will subside a bit...but who knows?!!
Kylie Graduated from Kindergarten yesterday. I swore I was not going to get emotional...I mean it's just Kindergarten, right? But, sure enough - and true to form - as she walked up in her paper hat and shook her teachers hand and received her empty white paper rolled up with a blue ribbon, there were tears, and snot, and the attempt at an indiscreet eye/nose wipe...ahhhh....!
I did have the wherewithal, however, to capture a few pictures:
A little while ago, as I was planning our "menu" for the week, I had a startling revelation. It seriously takes me three days (not consecutively) and three different stores to accumulate all we will need for the month. Yikes...Now, granted, I usually take at least 3 of the 4 kids with me, so the prospect of going to all three stores in one day is absolutley out of the question, but still...it's quite the process. We go to the warehouse store - BJ's (like costco), Wal-Mart, and usually Harris Teeter because they have killer coupon deals. Anyway, this really is all a segway into why the following pictures caused me quite a bit of distress.
We had just gotten back from a massive trip to BJ's. I had found these whole wheat tortillas that I was excited to try with some hummus and veggies. The older kids were wandering around the back yard and Micah was playing inside while I unloaded the groceries. I came in to find this:
Apparently you should never leave a hungry-almost-two-year-old alone, even for a second, with a whole table of food....he's quite crafty, and very cute!!!
And just because I thought it was sooooo freakin' amazing, here's a couple pictures of an awesome storm that rolled in last night. I would have taken more pictures, but the neighbor was looking at me weird...I think he though I was taking pictures of his house. Anyway, the storm was loud and intense - such a beautiful, frightening display of the Creator's power - kind of like Him - Beautiful, Frightening, Awesome!
I've been thinking a lot about risk lately. Now, more than ever before in my life, I feel God is asking, and I am more aware, of risk. The unknown, the unseen.
I really don't like the "idea" of risk. I like to know what will happen: how, when, the definite outcome, how it will effect me and my family, what it will look like in the future. Kind of makes me think of what a wise man said once "Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen." Ahhh...the unseen, the unknown. That's the hardest part for me. Kinda like taking a leap of a cliff, simply because your Daddy told you too and He said He would catch you.
I have been seeing risk in all sorts of areas in my life lately. There is risk in love, in relationship, in obedience. God asked us to move across the country and be part of what He is doing here...a bit risky by my calculations! There are other things God is asking us to do lately that sound just a little out of the box, a little unexpected in most people's opinions.
I am so grateful that God is not a God of the ordinary...He dwells outside of the box, He requires risk, He desires us to live in crazy faith! I love that there is blessing in obedience. I am more and more convinced that if we are truly seeking His will, His face, then whichever way we turn, whatever path we take, He will bless us!
So, bring on the unknown, let us walk in the unseen. If that is where You are, that is where I want to be...I want to jump!
I've never had to "hunt" for a church. Granted, I've been a voice in the decision before, but the final decision has never rested mostly on my shoulders. When I was younger, I went where my parents went. When Jason and I were newly married, the transition from my parents church to his was natural. For nine years, we were happy, content, challenged, blessed, stretched, and HOME at The Bridge.
Enter: "the move." Honestly, I think leaving The Bridge, the amazing friends we had there and our superb pastors (Tom and Nadine) was one of the hardest things we had to do. But, we knew God was calling us, wooing us, moving us. It was clear.
So, we left our home and ventured to the great state of South Carolina. Thus began the hunting journey. We tried a couple different churches. Big and small; crazy and not-so-crazy! They all had different, unique "feels." None were "bad," but neither did they feel like "home."
We were given a word from a woman I admire and respect deeply before we left. "You are being given a new set of tools to use in SC. Don't look for the familiar, don't depend on the familiar." Hmmmm....what could this mean. How would it apply to churches. Were we to find ourselves in a huge, traditional, conservative church? Were we to not look for the "home" feeling? How would we know...when would we know?
A few months were spent at a big (Really, really big) church. It was annointed, it was moving with the Spirit, both Jason and I were ministered to, but for some reason we never felt it was right. This led me to think - what is important in "church." What is essential; what should or should not effect the decision; what are is just a matter of preference? Can you, should you, allow your kids comfort at church to be a factor, and how big of one? Do you look for a place where you can be ministered too, or is it more improtant to find a place where you can serve? Can there be a healthy balance of both? Can you compromise on some things - or on nothing? I'd be interested to hear other's feedback on these questions...?!
We have found a place - we feel like God is moving there, like the pastor has God's attention, and that God is excited about where He is taking this church. It is somewhat familiar - it looks like The Bridge, but in so many ways is so very different. The kids (even Caleb) enjoy going - they love Sunday school and are quickly making friends. I am being challenged in the concept of an organized, official denomination again...who would have thought!? We know this is where God has landed us for now, there is peace and great anticipation...that's gotta be good, right?
I still miss the Bridge - a lot! But, for everything, there is a season....and God designs each one to be beautiful and fruitful...
