You know you're a mom of toddlers if....

* You know who Kofi Annan is because you saw him on Sesame Street

* During worship the most consistent thing you receive is a chewed up bagel in your outstretched hands

* You have "Rock n' Roll Nursery Rhymes" on your iPod

* You are out with your friends and say "I have to go potty."

* The last time you took communion at church more of it ended up on your khaki pants than anywhere else

* You measure time in cartoon increments (you need to stay on your bed for one whole Clifford!)

And - just an amusing side story:
We were sitting at church during worship last Sunday and Macey was desperately trying to tell me something. As usual, it was very hard to hear her so I told her "say it in my ear" and leaned down to where she was. She looked at me really weird - maybe she hadn't heard me - so I said it again "Tell me in my ear." Again, she looked at me like I was crazy and I got a little frustrated. "Macey - tell me in my ear." Next thing I know - she was wiping her face in my hair...turns out she was asking for a Kleenex and thought I said "wipe it in my hair." Ahhhh...clear communication is of the essence with a two year old!!!

cowboy hats and dress up shoes

Imagination is a wonderful thing! Where did mine go? I wonder....I wonder....

I was sitting in the back seat of the van with the kids the other day. If you have never done this with your kids, I recommend that you do. It allows for a whole new perspective.

So there I was, wedged between a three and a four year old. Caleb has taken to bringing an old coffee tin of toys wherever he goes - today, it was a bunch of match box cars, superman and Buzz Lightyear. He was playing and having a great time and then looked at me with those big blue eyes and said "Mommy, why don't you play with toys?" Hmmm....good question.

My kids can take anything and turn it into something cool. Macey puts on a pair of purple high heels and is a princess, Caleb can take a cowboy hat and goggles and is an outer-space creature, Kylie can turn a box, big or small, into almost anything. Imagination is an amazing thing!!!

At what point did it become "un-cool" to play with toys? When did dress up get replaced by designer jeans and cowboy replaced with the newest hair style? Granted, it may be silly and a bit childish for an adult to play with toys, but aren't we supposed to be childish to a certain extent? I mean, if we think about it, how much do we limit our freedom and potential in the Spirit because of what we think others expect or out of a fear of looking foolish? I remember a great Someone saying some time ago that foolishness and child-likeness is actually a key to the kingdom!

What if the freedom that we are glimpsing, merely glimpsing, right now is just a shadow of what is to come. What would our church, our homes, our lives look like if we just let go - if we let our imagination go a bit farther than normal....? It seems I could do with a bit more of the cowboy hat and dress up shoes mentality.

Today...

So - it was 6:30 this morning - I was sitting outside with my half-calf Folgers (I know, very sacrilegious) coffee and my bible. I had just gotten back from a bike ride and was thinking about the day. The main thought was ---"Aghhhhhhhhhh." I wonder - is it a bad sign if you've been up for only an hour, haven't spoken more than two words to another human being, and already overwhelmed? I think maybe it's not so good. But then, about two hours later I got these pics....Kind of hard to not have a good day when these are the guys you get to spend it with....

Happenings

Another month is almost gone - wow - how time flies.
I am running low on sleep and deep thoughts, or any coherent thoughts at all, are few and far between. But, I figure I can at least post a few pictures from the last month...






























This is how the Thompson kids spent their 4th of July - eating loads of ice cream and being incredibly cute (although Micah doesn't look particularly thrilled)!

Macey turned 2 on the 14th:


Despite the girls having pink eye (yuck) and the three older kids having ear infections, the day was pretty good. However, one of her presents had some trouble during shipping:




























Here is a great picture of the girls being girls!:





































So - that's the short of it! I know there isn't much writing here, but we all now "a picture is worth a thousand words." So, really, this is a super-long blog!!! It's all in how you look at it!

Vacations

We are leaving today for a whole week to a beautiful cabin on an amazing lake with an even more amazing family and another good friend! It is quite an ordeal packing for 6 - our van is loaded to capacity (and maybe beyond)! But, alas, it is done and we are on our way (God willing) in a few short hours!
I've been wanting to post a couple kid stories - so I figured I'd try to get those done before I go:


Caleb has been having a TON of dreams lately. Some good, some not so good. So - we've been encouraging and praying and talking to him about calling for Jesus in his dreams to help him. The other day he woke up and said he had a bad dream with monsters and stuff in the kitchen. I reminded him that he could talk to Jesus in his dreams and he said "Yeah, I know, but I just asked for Spider man and he came to help" Hmmm....sounds like his dream language!!

And then there's Kylie! She was sitting in the van the other day and saw an airplane. She asked "when to Caleb and I get to fly?" I said, "You mean in an airplane? I don't know honey." "No mom - in the air with our wings?" Wow! Ky - I think you can do anything you put your mind to! (Oh - Tyler, I told her to ask you how to fly)!!! Fly, Kylie, Fly!!!







Now, who could forget about Macey. Macey, Macey, Macey - who is EVERY BIT of a two year old! She has chosen to make getting out of bed "THE battle." You know - the one where she will be incredibly stubborn and test mom and dad to see how stubborn we can be with discipline - fun, fun!!! Well this was the scene the other night: She pokes her head out of her room and wanders into the hallway."Macey - are you out of bed." "Ummm....yeah." "Macey - what happens when you get out of bed?" "know" (meaning - I don't know). "Do you get spankers?" "yeah" "Come here" macey takes off running, goes into her room. I follow and say "come here" She looks at me with her very cute, very big blue eyes with her scruffy blonde hair everywhere and says "spank" and swats her own bottom. Pretty cute!!!

What can I say about Micah? Oh man - this little guy (and the big guy) has stolen my heart!!! Take a look at this pic:









Enough said!!

Here's to a great, relaxing vacation with great friends and many more stories to tell when we get back!!!

Adios!

I hope I win!!!!

So - I saw this contest on a friend's website and thought "oh how nice, I hope she wins." BUT - then I was overcome with this strange desire for a custom swim suit, place mats and goodness - I don't even remember what else. So - due to my lack of sleep, crazy hormone rushes and one of the first full glasses of wine (actually it was more like 1/4 of a glass) that I've had in 10 months, and not to mention a whole day of packing and making lists for all 6 of us to go on a week vacation, I decided - hey - I might enter and see if I win!!! Jason is mercilessly mocking me right now, but - what the heck - can't hurt!!! Now I have to figure out how to post a link so I can actually enter! Have fun!!!

Danni

I'm here...really...I think

Wow - I am embarassed at how long it's been since I've blogged. But, here I am - finally. I have lots of ideas, or semi-ideas, for blogs, but nothing is really coming to me right now. In fact, complete thoughts have become a rare commodity! Whoever said that after three kids, adding one more is no big deal??? Whoever they were - they LIED!!!! So we'll see how this goes.



31/2 weeks ago when I was patiently (yeah right) waiting for Micah to let us know he was ready to come out, I remember that I got to a point where I was convinced it would never happen. I felt like I REALLY was going to be pregnant forever. Now, my logical side knew this wasn't true, and that ALL babies are born SOMETIME. But, my tired, achy, hormonal side was telling me that this was an eternal condition. But, on the day that he was born - I think it was shortly before my water broke in the middle of the crosswalk - I was thinking of a spiritual application. How many promises have I heard from God that I have yet to see fulfilled. It seems like it is so easy to discount the promise or to think that it is not coming when it is not on my timetable. In the physical sense, I had every evidence available that Micah WOULD be born - I was huge and waddling and everything within me was saying that the time was near. But it was so easy to forget that in light of my impatience and even excitement - when, oh when would he come. Sound familiar?? God reminded me that day that he has not forgotten the promise - that those things which have been conceived are being grown and nourished in the the time, HIS time, is right to bring the promise forth!


Looking back, I see that Micah was born just on time. Oh, how I pray for patience, Lord, to wait for Your timing - Your perfect timing - for promises to be birthed!!!

Perspective

I popped up my blog this morning to check on some of the other blogs I have linked to, and noticed that it seems like the little baby in the pea pod at the top of my page hasn't moved in weeks. I serisously thought about blogging about how ssssllllloooowwww time is going right now. Then, I looked on the right side of the baby and saw 38 days. Yikes. That looks, and sounds, a lot sooner than 5 1/2 weeks, or a month and a half. It's all a matter of perspective.

I think it's so easy, too easy, to get caught up in what we don't have or what we are longing for and totally miss what is right in front of us. I think of the Haaks (baby Josiah's parents). I almost obsessively check their blog daily. They have captured my heart and prayers. If you haven't checked out their blog, it's linked on the right. Anyway, it would be so easy for them to get caught up in the fact that their little guy's life and future is hanging in the balance right now. April 25th is the big day. It would be easy, and understandable, for them to get wrapped up in grief and sorrow - and I know they have moments of this. BUT - they are holding on to hope, to promises, to the truth of God's word for Josiah. They are choosing not to miss out on the little (big) things - like being barfed on for the first time, Josiah holding Daddy's hand while he sleeps, chunky cheeks, and baby gas....amazing! I love the hope and the perspective that they show.

Oh, that I would be able to carry that into all parts of my life. God, change my perspective, help me to see the promises, the joy in the little things - to look beyond the now, into what You have planned, to look through Your eyes!

God's Potatoes

Today was a pretty good day - all things considered. Despite the fact that my hips feel like they are being spread by one of those chest opening devices you see on doctor shows and little Micah seems convinced the way out is through my belly button (ouch), I still got up, went for a walk, made a good breakfast, got some "nesting" done and washed a ton of clothes, all while maintaining four kids and keeping all of us pretty happy. Not bad, if you ask me. Then (insert suspenseful music here)....Dinner time hit.

Most parents know very well what I am talking about. It's like your children become overcome with the spirits of neediness and naughtiness all at the same time. Macey was wanting "bup" (up) and following me around with her blanket and crying every time I tried to tell her that no - mommy has raw hamburger on her hands and is peeling potatoes. She even said sweetly "mommy" and then spit at me. That didn't fly....nuf said. The two older kids were playing nicely, albeit messily, but nicely until 6 o'clock. Then it was constant screaming and hitting and fighting and yikes....mommy loosing her mind. Seriously - what is it about having to get things done that brings this out? Who knows, maybe it's character building, but ouch, can't it be build someway else.

Anyway, we mostly recovered by the time the meatballs were done and the potatoes mashed and the table set. Kylie likes to help set the table and for some reason we had messed up the number of plates, so she "returned" one and went back to her business of setting out the napkins. Then she wanders back in and asks for another plate. "why," I asked, "I gave you the right amount." "Mom, I need a plate for God." So, I give her a plate and follow her to the table where God received a scoop and mashed potatoes and a meatball - but no gravy.

Not only was this a very cute scene, but it made me think. How often do I make room for God in the midst of every day situations - even the crazy, psychotic dinner hour. My brother has a chair in his house that is for Jesus. His three year old has known this chair was for Jesus since he could talk. The more I think about it, the more I realize the merit. Aiden has known, and will know all his life that God has honored place in his physical home, and I am sure that this will transpire to a very honored place in his life. What an amazing thing to be able to teach our kids - that even though we can't see Him with our physical eyes, we need to include him in everything - even in the dinner time craziness and the mashed potatoes! So, thanks Kylie, thanks Aiden for bringing to light this truth that we as adults tend to overlook!

It's all part of the process

">I had to post this cartoon. I found this great site with some very funny prego cartoons - one for each week of the pregnancy. I'll try to get one up each week until little Micah shows up!

This is the fourth time I have sat down to try to type this post. One time yesterday, I started to type and my 1 year old came up with a book and closed the lid to the laptop...hmmm....point taken.

So - they are now building a house out of pillows and blankets and chairs and who knows what else - so I should have a couple minutes. Hopefully I'll be able to get some coherent thoughts down!?!?!

I am officially in my 31st week of this, my fourth, pregnancy. I think I have finally come to the point of giving in to the "process." Let me explain...

This baby is the most "planned" of our four, though "family planning" is quite an oxymoron if you ask me. But I think I have spent most of this pregnancy struggling against the natural side-effects of the whole prego process. I mean - who really welcomes aching joints, and spreading hips, and stretch marks on top of stretch marks and all sorts of other crazy stuff? But as I was walking with a good friend yesterday, she asked if I had been able to keep up with my workout schedule (again - "workout" and "schedule" are very funny words to put in the same sentence when you have little kids)? I told her that I had to a certain extent, but as the nausea came and went and came and went again, and I as I had weeks where the thought of getting out of bed caused panic and tears, I haven't quite been as consistent as I've wanted...and boy have I been feeling, not to mention seeing, the effects. She responded with something to the effect of "you can't really stress about that in pregnancy, it's kind of just part of the process." Very true, and it got me thinking.

I have always thought metaphorically - since I was pretty little. And sometimes, I know, I tend to over-metaphor or over spiritualize things, but God really started to point to some things out to me about the correlation between physical and spiritual pregnancy/birthing. Here are just a couple that really stood out --

* There will be aches and pains and stretching and growing in pregnancy. It hurts, it's uncomfortable, and you REALLY want it to stop - but they are all signs of growth and that the baby is healthy and developing. But in the midst of all the discomfort, when you feel a kick or a squirm or a stretch from within - it is an amazing reminder of the promise that is growing and coming soon!

* Your lifestyle HAS to change if you want a healthy baby...maybe not dramatically, but there are things you will do differently to keep yourself in shape and to ensure the safety of the little one inside. Spiritually, I think you need to act different and prepare differently when you are pregnant with the things of God.

* Toward the end of the pregnancy, you really, really, really, want to be done - and NOW! But, the best thing for the baby and mom is for the baby to be in the womb until the appropriate time. Premature babies can survive, but generally are not as healthy. Even thought there is an excitement and anxiousness to the coming birth - it needs to happen at the due time.

* Then, of course, there is the whole labor analogy - it hurts, it's uncomfortable, it's a bit scary, but sooooo worth it!

* I was also thinking about after the new little one is born - you don't just plop them down and say "grow." There is a lot of nurturing and helping and feeding and watching that happens to get them to the point where they are mature. And, oh, how nice it is when older siblings help and jealousy does not set in. As Tom says, God likes it when His kids play nice together.

So - there are my musings about pregnancy and birth and the whole (or at least part of) the spiritual aspects. I think I'm ready to give in to the process and ride this thing out for remaining 9 weeks - like I had a choice!!!! Bring it on!

From the Mouths of Babes (or just little kids)!

I just had to share this story - it was pretty cute. I think I laughed myself into some minor contractions!

So - last night we were sitting down to dinner - all 5 of us. No small feat in itself. We really try to make a habit/rule of praying before we eat, but when the kids are hungry and the food is in front of them, it's hard to restrain them. So, after a few "pre" meal bites, we were ready to pray. We usually let the kids pray if they want to.

They got a good start in learning to pray in pre-school, "Thank you, God, for juice and snacks. Amen." For quite a while the dinner prayers would mimic that. Something like "Thank you, God, for potatoes and turkey and gravy and - mommy, what's that - oh - thank you, God, for carrots too. Amen" Kinda cute, huh?!

Well, last night, they shook things up a bit. Caleb started - Dear God, thank you for pasta, and I don't want to eat carrots, Amen." Short and sweet and to the point - kind of like him! Not to be outdone, Kylie proceeded. I kid you not, she sat on her knees, lifted her arms into the air, looked skyward, and proceeded in a very noble voice - Dear God, thank you for the food, thank you for everything, please let it rain so all the things will grow, help all the poor, and let us watch some movies." I about died. It wasn't so much the words, but the posture - cracked me up!

All the while, Macey is mumbling under her breath - baby prayers - and sneaking bites of pasta. I think they have definitely crossed over to their own styles! Gotta love it!

To bring it around to a more serious note - I really was very blessed by the purity of their prayers. I know that I, way too often, pray only what I think God wants to hear, or only what I think needs to be said to bring about what I want. If I am blessed by hearing simply what is on the heart and mind of my children, then how much more is God blessed by their simple prayers and how much more, even, would it bless Him if I were real with Him in the same way. It seems a difficult task to wrap my mind around the fact that the creator, the omnipotent, holy One, wants to commune in such a free and intimate manner with me. It's something I have been taught since I can remember, but I don't think I have ever really made a practice of living it; praying it. What a wonder, what a marvel that He loves us so!

Blessings --

Danni

Baby Josiah

Hey Everyone. This will be a short post. I have been following the story of a little guy in Canada that is having a pretty rough go of it in his first few weeks of life. I linked to his dad's page off of someone who reads Nadine's blog. Anyway - God has really stirred my heart concerning this family. Could be because I have the mommy hormones on overload right now, but I think it has more to do with God's involvement and passion for this young family. I have been especially blessed by his dad's (Andrew) faith and trust in God despite everything that has happened.

If you have a chance, please check out his sight and pray, pray, pray. I actually posted the link to his blog on my site (I know, I know...going high tech)! If I have time later, I'll try to get the baby's pic up.

Thanks everyone!

Danni

The Underside of Things

I am continually amazed at the ways God speaks to me. It would fancy me if there was an angelic visitation, a prophetic word (maybe)!, a vision, a translation or something "spiritual" like that. But, I realized the other day that that may not be the case... I think God speaks to me where I am at, and will capitalize on a free, quiet moment.

The other day I was pretty overwhelmed - a common state of being lately. There is constant motion and noise and activity all around me from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. I've found that the best place for me to relax and get away from all that is sometimes that bath tub. Our water bill was WAY up last month! Anyway, the other night the house was cluttered, the kids were grubby, dinner was just over and I was hiding - very honestly - hiding! But, I had cleaned the bathroom just before. Mind you, it was a surface clean - no scrubbing, no cleaner - just making sure there were no underwear on the ground, no T.P. still clinging to the toilet, I even wiped the lid - but it was clean. It helps to try to relax in a somewhat un-cluttered environment.

Anyway, I had just gotten in to a very hot bath (don't tell my mid-wife) and was unwinding. Then I opened my eyes. It just so happened that from where I was sitting, I could see the underside of the toilet rim. Yuck - double yuck. There went my serene, relaxing, un-cluttered bath. Arghhhhh....

Anyway, I had a mild breakdown - crying in the tub - pretty pathetic. But, as God is so faithful - he began to speak to me through my toilet. He has a sense of humor. I started thinking about my life. It is so easy to put on a front; to act like everything is okay. To present your "house" as clean and in order. And it might actually be. But how often are the really gross, really dirty areas left neglected. Too often I will realize a messy spot in my home, or my life, and acknowledge it but feel to overwhelmed to deal with it. But, obviously, the longer I ignore it, the more deeply seeded the stain becomes and the harder it is to scrub it clean.

My goal, my desire, is to arrive at the point where I no longer to crisis management, but am able to maintain order. I realize this may not happen in my home for a while, but do know that it is totally possible spiritually. After all - God calls us to be holy as He is holy - I know it is possible!

I dare to hope....

Rules of Engagement

My life is pretty crazy. I think I am at a point where I can finally, fully admit it. Though, sometimes I wonder if it is more the life I lead or the one who leads it that dubs it as crazy - it is what it is. I know that things could be more hectic - I've seen it in action in others lives, but for me - right now, right here - this is my truth.

For the first time the other day I was aware of trying to schedule, actually schedule, a date night with my hubby. It seems in the past that they kind of just happened, but we were in the car with the kids and doing a run down of my week vs. his week - who was going out when and with whom and who was watching the kids on what nights and can we possibly squeeze in some "us" time - Lord knows we both need it! When did life get like this - was with the birth of Kylie, or did it happen a year later with Caleb. Maybe it got officially hectic when Macey was born or...ughhh - who knows. It's here and it's now and oh my - how do I cope.

Now, that's an interesting thought - coping. I have come to realize in the past week a lot about my coping skills or lack of them. I lived a pretty sheltered life growing up. I didn't have to cope with a lot - I experienced to major tragedies, no deaths in the family, no intense trauma. I think the closest I got to grief was when I was five and my goldfish jumped out of the bowl onto our blue shag carpet and fried himself on the heater - yikes.

As I've looked more deeply and "dealing" lately, I realized that I tend to choose to not deal. Not healthy. Not really even practical - because, hey - even if I don't acknowledge the issue, it's still there, and it will patiently wait and grow and fester and wait and wait and wait...oh, how they like to wait. It's kind of like ignoring a baby elephant in your living room. Whether you acknowledge it or not, it's there - and it's going to grow and it's going to do things that growing elephants do. And if you don't deal with the stuff, then one day you will wake up with a pile of grown up elephant well, you know...not a pretty thought. Not only do I tend to ignore the problem, but everything else as well. If something is already raw, why involve yourself in an activity that could make it hurt worse - and sometimes everything hurts. Sometimes, every little action seems to require attention to the "thing."

I feel like God has calling me to engage more in my issues, in my life, and in the lives of those around me. It is WAY too easy to sit back and let others do the work, to choose to not engage. Being the word lover that I am, I looked up what it means to engage or be engaged. Here are my favorites:

To draw into; involve
To enter or bring into conflict with
To interlock or cause to interlock; mesh

Ouch. Especially the one about conflict. I mean, who wants to choose to draw into conflict - not me. But, as I have learned - conflict is a key to growth, to relationship, to...life. So - bring it on, right?!?! Yikes!

So - instead of withdrawing from life - I choose to engage in it. To seek out ways to interact more with my surroundings - my kids, my friends, my husband - heck, even the lady behind the counter at WinCo. Why not - can't hurt. Oh wait, what was that about conflict...? Anyway - I think I am learning that engaging is good - for me, for those around me, for everyone involved. Why not train that baby elephant to get rid of his stuff correctly while he is still young? Seems to be the wise way to go.

So, here I go - embracing this crazy life that I dearly love and would not trade for anything; choosing to be engaged, whatever it may bring!

Pure Joy

Joy:

a. Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness.

b. The expression or manifestation of such feeling.

My oldest daughter is 4. And she is VERY MUCH 4, if you will. She is curious and busy and adorable and very outgoing. It seems that I remember, even at that age, being very self conscious of what I said, what I did, how I looked and what people, peers and elders alike, thought of me. Not a good thing for a four year old to have to worry about. Granted, I had some issues that led to me feeling that way - stuttering being one of them, but I have a feeling that even if Kylie stuttered it wouldn't stop her from being who and how she is. She is one of a kind...

The other day when Jason got home, we all piled on Macey's new bed and, as the kids called it, "roughed up." This usually consists of some throwing around, chasing, tickling, and A LOT of screaming. Normally, I would hide in the kitchen and finish dinner or do something else while Jason takes his turn with the kids. But, this night I was in the thick of it, right along with Kylie.

It was a very cool moment for me. I was tickling her and was able to watch just her face. She has an adorable smile - but usually when she is trying to smile for a camera or something, it turns into more of a grimace at the most, and is pretty cheesy at the least. But, this evening, got to see her "pure joy smile."

We have some good friends that have a cabin on a lake. We have been blessed to join them on quite a few occasions. Usually we have at least one late night of cards, beer, and great conversation. One evening in particular it was really late, and toward the end of the week so we were really tired and the conversation was digressing rapidly somewhere in the realm of flatulence. Anyway, my husband was doubled over laughing uncontrollably. When he finally recovered, he commented that he laughed until he "lost control of his face." I was reminded of that when I was watching Kylie laugh. No inhibition, no self-consciousness, no concerns, no worries, just pure joy.

Oh, that I could lose myself like that. To experience on a regular basis true joy. And even more - to seek it out! Can you imagine - seeking opportunities to lose control - yikes! Whether it be in laughing (it does happen occasionally), or in worship, or in anything, I believe that some of the most intense freedom experiences happen when all inhibitions are tossed aside. God, make it more of a daily experience. Let me know the joy of being in YOU!!!!

So, here's to laughing until you lose control of you face!!

Lessons from the little ones

Over the past month since I posted last I have had so very many thoughts and ideas about topics to blog about - but, obviously, they have remained only thoughts and ideas. Most of them have to do with the kids and their antics and challenging moments along with the moments of pure joy they bring me. I had originally aspired to write one blog a week - a very lofty goal for me - but, again, that didn't happen. So, as I was sitting here this morning thinking of looking at bills and maybe hunting for a new car online, I thought - no time like the present. So, here is a quick rundown of the lessons learned and insights gained from my three (almost four) munchkins.

"real parents"
With the imminent arrival of Thompson 4.0 just a few months away, I finally broke down and decided to go the bunk bed route. I am a worrier by nature, and quite consistently had visions of my oldest rolling of the top bunk and breaking herself into bits. Granted, kids have been sleeping on bunk beds for years, and I was a "top bunker" myself for many years, but none of that mattered when it came to Kylie. Of course, if something bad could happen, it would to her.

But, nevertheless, I did it. Two very amazing families in the church gave us their old beds (thanks a ton guys), and now we have two sets of bunks in our two rooms. A boy room (the newest addition is a boy - yeah)! and a girls room. As we, or more accurately, as JASON was setting up the first set I had this overwhelming feeling of "oh God, oh God, oh God" - in a good way, I mean. I think for the last four and a half years I've been so in the baby stage - it's kind of been a blur. Diapers and wipes and potty training and high chairs and cribs and car seats and ahhhhh....all that stuff. But bunk beds are for REAL KIDS - that must mean that we are REAL PARENTS.

Not that the baby stage doesn't constitute as real, but there was this intense realization that they are not babies anymore. My mom would say that they are always your babies, but you know what I mean. My oldest is starting kindergarten in the fall, and my middle is really separating himself as THE BOY in the family - in every sense of the word. And my youngest - the baby, is sleeping in a big girl bed all by herself - no rails, no cribs - she is making her own way!

And to top all that - there is another one coming. I fell blessed. I've heard it said that a "rich man's family" is one boy and one girl. We are going to have two boys and two girls - that must make us rich beyond measure - God is good!

I wanted to post more, but this rich mom's family is needing some attention (ie - sesame street is done) - so I will try to post some more tomorrow or tonight (we'll see how well that goes).

Later.

More little things

Wow - so I just realized my last post was Nov. 21st. Way too long to wait between postings, but at least I'm getting another one in before a month has passed - not too bad, I guess.

I was trying to think of what to post, what has really stood out in the last few weeks. There has been a lot that has happened, but I think the thing that has made the biggest impression has to do with more of the little things...

For those of you who know me, you know that Jason and I are expecting our fourth baby in May. Each pregnancy and the circumstances surrounding them have been incredibly different. They range for total shock and surprise, to being early and dramatic, to being totally planned (this one).

I think maybe I went into this pregnancy thinking that maybe it would be kind of the "same old, same old." I mean, it hasn't been that long since I went through my first pregnancy and definitely not long since the previous one. But, I am amazed at how new things feel all the time. Who knows, maybe I am suffering from memory loss due to hormones or lack of sleep or both. Regardless, everything feels new again. My poor hubby is probably so tired of me asking "was it like this last time?" "Did I feel like I would never feel better last time?" "Was I this BIG last time?" He is sooooo patient with me - what a guy!!

This past week Jason and I both got to feel the baby move and we also had an ultrasound. After the ultrasounds with the other three kids, there is not much different with looking at a baby at this stage of gestation. They all look like little aliens! But, last night when we were seeing the little one for the first time - there was this huge sense of awe that washed over me again - "that's mine - that's ours." I am amazed at how perfect everything works, how beautifully formed babies are - even at 16 weeks.

I am reminded of how God "knits us together in the womb." I love to think that this little person has a destiny and a calling and a purpose beyond anything I can imagine - already! He (or she) was picked to be born, to come into this world at this time for God's amazing purposes - it blows me away.

I kind of got to thinking on a much grander scale. If I am so overwhelmed with the miracle of life each time I am pregnant, even each time I hear of someone carrying a child, then how much more joy does our Heavenly Father feel each time a life enters the kingdom. The Bible says that the angels rejoice when a soul is saved - I think I saw that in a new perspective last night. For as much joy and rejoicing we feel when a new life is born into this world - what a party it must be when those lives enter into Eternal Life! I would love to be witness to that one!

Lord, help me to never lose sight of the miracle of new life - on earth and in Heaven!

If you like to...

I watched a pretty good movie last night. I don't think there was anything too remarkable about it - it definitely will not win any awards. But there is one line that has stuck with me all day, something that touched a spot deep in my spirit.

In the movie, there is a young girl who wants to dance, whose parents are paying for dance lessons, but she just is not "good" at it. She tells her dance instructor "I just don't think I was made to dance." Her instructor asks her "Do you like do dance?" "Well, yeah" she replies. He says "Well, then, you were made to dance." She later repeats this same phrase to a young man she is dancing with.

When I first heard it, I knew there was some spiritual truth being spoken. As I have thought about it today, I have realized how much I, and maybe I am not alone, have believed the lie that if you are not good at it at first then you should quit. Ouch. I have tried countless things, countless numbers of times and when I don't find success or fulfillment or affirmation I quit. Obviously I was not made to do those things, right. Uh, wrong.

I have realized lately how much passion and desire is an integral part of how God made us. He created passion. He perfected it. The things that I long for, the things that I might even just think would bring me joy are not there by accident. He placed them in me. Just because I am not "good" at it by my standards does not give me reason or excuse to bury the passion for those things.

I mean, really, how many people are good at what they do the first time they do it? Not many. I think God has designed passion and desire to be so deep and consuming that we will fight for fulfillment. Is it possible that He wants us to want to find those things that He placed in us SO much that the struggle is by design? I know I find that in my relationship with Him. He wants me to CHOOSE to seek Him above all else, to lay down the easy things to do the passionate thing. Oh, God, show my how seek passion, how to fight for the fulfillment of desire. Show me how to seek You with my all...

There He is again

So - to all of you who have encouraged me to get back into blog-land, I have heeded your advice and here I am. I'm not sure why I picked now, this moment, to start again. After all, all three kids are up and around and the house is a mess. Maybe I'm seeking a temporary escape - who knows.

I was thinking I should do something dramatic and big for my first post in a while, but the only thing that comes to mind is an idea I had months ago. Anyway, I went through a period where I would see the evidence, the presence of God and the oddest times. Now, that is not totally unusual, but my reaction was. I would see something or here something and be in tears immediately.

I remember there was one time when I was driving over a bridge and saw a seagull fly overhead with a fish in its mouth. I was totally struck by how God has orchestrated and cared for even the smallest of creatures. So there I was, trying to drive in traffic and trying to fight back tears, but loving the presence of God - all because of a seagul and a dead fish.

Another time I was hanging out after church and my husband was playing with my youngest. He was holding her in the air (REALLY high, mind you) and she was reaching to the ceiling - wanting to go higher. I loved it! God spoke to me about my desire to go higher and to play with my daddy!

There are other times too, that I can't remember right now (oh, how I wish I was a faithful journaler). I am so blessed by that time. A time when God chose to show up again and again, if for no other reason to bless His kid and show my how real He is, how big He is, and how much He loves me.

Thanks God. May I never stop seeing you in the little things!

Because she can

My 10 month old is learning to walk. She has well mastered crawling and standing up on things and is now moving on to the exciting, and much feared toddling stage. Yesterday I was watching her negotiate this new found skill. She was walking behind a cart type toy with wheels and was SO excited. She would stop, look at me, wrinkle her nose and squeal - very cute! Then she would let go and sit down and stand up - unassisted. I watched her do maybe four "baby squats." Stand up - sit down - stand up - sit down. I began to think about how I would feel doing that - I think my legs would buckle after the first two, and here she was doing this and finding joy in working her muscles and learning a new aspect of her abilities. I thought, why would she do that? I never would willingly do squats without a ton of encouragement or a whole lot of prodding. I think she does them simply because she knows that she can now, and couldn't a couple days ago.

Then I started think about my spiritual walk and how many abilities and gifts God gives up and really wants us to discover and learn. I've obviously known all along that Macey would walk someday, that sooner or later she would be in the running, keeping up with and chasing down her siblings. I'm not sure this has always been obvious to her. In fact, I can imagine she has often looked at Kylie and Caleb running wild and wanting with all her might to join them, but she just wasn't ready. She didn't have the practice or the coordination yet.

My thoughts then when to last Sunday at church. During worship a guy started running laps around the room (check out Tom's blog site for a more detailed account - http://emancipationofthefreed.blogspot.com). Anyway, by 3 year old was really taken by watching Tyler run. She asked if she could run, too. I said "of course," and off she went. Then my two year old started running, walking, jumping in the line too. I felt tears in my eyes and didn't quite comprehend why. As I've been mulling this over in my mind and heart I think I've realized a couple things. Kylie didn't care that she was is 20 years younger than Tyler, she didn't care that she couldn't run as fast or that she was smaller. She just wanted to run. She just wanted join in what she saw happening.

Every time she would pass by me, she would stick her little fist in the air and say "Mommy, I'm doing it." Wow - that really made the tears start coming. I think I was seeing a prophetic picture of her future- that she has such determination, such drive to join what God is doing, that not much will hold her back. I also think I was seeing her run as a prophetic picture of myself. My fears often hold me back and though I've been walking with the Lord for 15+ years, I often still see myself as 3. I am afraid of falling, I am afraid of not keeping up. But there are so many people around that are cheering me, us, on that I should just get up and go!

I know there are times when I look at those who are more mature in the areas of their walk with God than I am and want desperately to join them, to run with them. Perhaps I do have that ability, that calling that will be developed after a while. Perhaps I just need to willingly do spiritual squats - they may be difficult and I will most likely fall on my bum a few times and may not always keep up - but, hey, my Daddy is there chearing me on and holding my hands while I learn to walk, even run!

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us , looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the sham, and has set down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 11:1-2